Best: Gotta Buy Them All!

Was Giovanni’s plan to give out free cruise tickets and then sell them Pokémon merchandise once on board? Hey buy a plain white t-shirt with a Clefairy on it. That way people will know to avoid you. Either way, that’s still less evil than trying to sell time-sharing.

I keep expecting Giovanni to come out with a graph illustrating the amazing financial potential in Amway. Either that or Mark Hamill dressed as Luke Skywalker to tell us why we should all switch to Sprint.

Best: The Southern Gentleman

I have no idea who he is, but he’s my favourite character on the show. At least until Lorelei/Prima turns up to boob me to death. I’ll tell you why I like him, though. He’s a fleshed-out person.

This guy isn’t really a nice guy. He seems to prefer fighting scrubs, ends battles when things look tough and he’ll kind of subtly pressure Ash into trading his Butterfree. On the other hand, he’s polite, well-mannered and when Ash asks for his Butterfree back he just goes “yeah okay.” He’s not a good or bad guy, he’s just a person living his life imperfectly.

Worst: Imagination is the Greatest Playground

“Spinning Tackle”? A Raticate with Hi Jump Kick? What the hell is this make-believe? It’s like two children smashing their action figures together, then they eventually move into the air and it’s sort-of, kind-of implied that they now have the power of flight. Then all of a sudden your friend’s action figure has anti-laser shields so your lasers didn’t win actually and you’re all “No cos my lasers have anti-anti-laser shields power.” and it goes on and on and on.

That is exactly what this is like.

Best: Starmie Core, Baltimore

Jesus, you didn’t have to smash that Starmie’s core, Raticate. I thought this was just a exhibition. Now it won’t be able to communicate with outer space, as is its want.

I’m just saying, if a giant space probe comes to Earth in the future searching for the missing Starmie signals and we have to send the Enterprise back in time to find one, then it’s all your fault, Raticate.

Best and Worst: The Magikarp Salesman

I like the Magikarp salesman, even if I’m iffy on the first character with an ethnic accent in the history of the show being a Latino scheming conman. He makes future appearances, and I don’t think it’s quite so bad in following appearances. I’m not trying to accuse 4Kids of outright racism or anything (they probably just said “hey, Eric Stuart, do a voice that isn’t Brock or James” and it was the first thing that came out) but it’s kind of the same thing Saban did with the Black and Yellow Rangers, by making the Black Ranger African-American and the Yellow Ranger Asian. It’s an iffy situation that doesn’t need to exist and could have been avoided with a modicum of thought.

Still, I love his interaction with James and how easy James buys into this terrible, obvious scam.

  1. Rando says:

    i didn’t know this was the first episode either – interesting move, if most likely unnecessary.

    i’m interested to know how ‘nintendo’s puritanical nature’ affected the original translation of the next episode. as i recall, brock had once heard ‘a story about a man called noah’ that inspires them to send pidgeotto to look for land. there’s your homework for next week.

    • David says:

      Oh, that’s definitely getting one of my paragraphs where I just talk about Japanese culture and make no jokes and everyone skips to the next Best/Worst.

  2. Delsaber says:

    I totally forgot that Team Rocket had a vaguely-imposing Shadowy Figure of their very own. I wonder where he places in the greater pantheon of Shadowy Figures; above Inspector Gadget’s Claw and Star Trek’s “Future Guy”, but below the WWE “Board of Directors”?

    Southern Gentleman = the current head of the Maximillian Knights. Fred got it on with someone, obviously.

    Also, your choice of image for Worst: I Miss My Butterfree can be totally misinterpreted. By me, anyway. I guess they don’t mind Pikachu watching.

  3. Luke says:

    Oh man, I was really beginning to enjoy reading these and it ends so abruptly. And with that comment promising more soon almost a month old with nothing new, is this the end of this? I sure hope not

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