Worst: Arrive. Say Motto. Leave.

Team Rocket turn up with no real plan besides REVENGE and then get stoned by the students who just throw non-opening, bizarrely two-dimensional Poké Balls at them until they leave. The students may as well have made fart noises while Jessie and James recited their motto until they ran away crying.

The writers will eventually figure this out after 400 episodes or so but if you have nothing for Team Rocket to do you don’t have to write them into the episode anyway. The 40 seconds or so you could have saved with this could have been spent on something else, like having Ash and Misty get pepper sprayed by Officer Jenny for protesting income inequality in Kanto.

Worst: “There are some things you can’t learn in school, and that’s a good lesson.”

Barf. It’s just an awful line. It’s like something out of Saved By the Bell, except stupid because everyone knows that Saved By the Bell was awesome.

If they replaced Ash with Screech, this would not make Pokémon any worse. I’m just saying.

Best: I’m Going to Art School!

Joe is going to drop out of Pokémon Tech and start over with his very first Pokémon. I’m sure his hard-working parents who slaved to finance his prestigious education will be thrilled when they find out.

Joe’s journey will go well, of course, and we’ll see him in episode 1… haha, no we won’t. He fails, just like everyone else. Maybe he got caught for truancy and is now serving time in juvenile hall. School is cool, Joe.

Worst: There’s 30 Seconds Left So I’m Nice Now

Since the episode is nearly over and Giselle lost a single battle, she is now redeemed forever and is everyone’s best friend. She even has a picture of Joe because she “has pictures of all (her) friends.” Is fighting Team Rocket some sort of mind-blowing experience that changes people’s personalities and challenges all they had believed up to this point?

I wonder if we’ll ever see Giselle again? Wait, no, I don’t. Maybe Giselle and Joe’s class were chosen by the BR Act. A.J., who is also there for some reason, wins Battle Royale when he impales Giselle on his head.

Best: Bike Card

Ash wonders why he and Misty can’t get along like Joe and Giselle do now and Misty tactfully ignores all the actual reasons why they don’t (Ash is rude and inconsiderate while Misty is stubborn and confrontational) and just focuses on the fact that Joe doesn’t own Giselle a bike.

I think Misty should just respond to everything Ash says with a demand for pedal-based vehicular restitution. Pass the salt? Bike. Which way do we go? Bike. Do you want this new bike I got with my Vermilion City bike voucher? Give me back my bike, Ash Ketchum, you dickcock!

    • David says:

      Best idea I’ve heard in a long while. Samurai, Seymour the Scientist, Joe, Giselle. All of Gary’s cheerleaders can be the girl students at the lighthouse in the movie. Charmander’s original owner too. I know there’s a samurai-style guy with a Marowak later on, maybe he’d win it.

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