Best: Violet is a Racist (Not Really)

“I am Chinese if you please.”

She’s such a horrible human being. The dub suggests she’s trying to show her eyes were spinning from all their losses, but I don’t know if that’s true in the Japanese version as well.

Oh, for those of you without a degree in nerd, Daisy is the blond sister, and the oldest, then Violet and Lily, with the pink hair, is the second youngest after Misty.

Worst: Goldeen is Not Bad and You Should Feel Bad

When did the writers of the show decide that Goldeen is basically a Magikarp? There’s been Goldeen twice in the show so far and both times they’re apparently useless and flop about ineffectively, like a Magikarp. Even Smash Brothers does this, where the lamest Pokémon to get is a Goldeen. Why is this happening? Leave Goldeen alone!

One of the sisters even mentions that Goldeen has Horn Attack. Then use it in battle you daft bints, it’s not like most of them in this show don’t end after a single attack anyway.

Best: Ash Would Have Taken the Freebie

He would have! Only Misty’s timely arrival prevented it. I think that’s awesome.

Ash isn’t a very ethical person. I don’t mean that in a bad way, I just mean Ash, like lots of young heroes, especially in the tradition of Japanese shonen anime, does not have a well developed, tried and tested sense of morality. Instead he focuses on instinct. This means that while Ash can recognise why accidentally drowning an Onix with fire sprinklers then electrocuting it to death may not be fair in the context of an organised Pokémon battle, he remains unable to articulate why receiving, without effort, a gym badge ostensibly given for winning said battles is bad if no-one is murdered in the process.

Meanwhile, Misty has the opposite dilemma. She clearly feels that getting a badge for free is a pile of bollocks but on the other hand, she’s the one who felt that Ash passed up a legitimate “lucky break” by not defeating Brock for the Boulder Badge. Her outlook is one in which you’ve got to earn what you’re given, but by any means necessary. It may not have been fair for Ash to win in that way, but life isn’t fair.

Of course I’m reading way too much into this, but I think maybe this duality of outlook and what it says about their personalities and how they conflict is what makes Ash and Misty such a entertaining duo, as opposed to Dawn or May.

Worst: Misty’s Journey

Misty didn’t want to go to Cerulean City because she promised not to return until she became a great water Pokémon trainer or something along those lines.

That’s it? That’s why you were so upset about having to come here? Bear in mind that Misty didn’t have to go back to the gym at all and this a pretty crummy self-enforced exile anyway. Her sisters obviously don’t care beyond using it as an excuse for teasing, along with every other aspect of her life.

Don’t get me wrong, Misty is entitled to have as vague a journey as she wants. After all, Ash only decided to start collecting gym badges when he arrived in Pewter City. Before that, his journey was arguably even more vague in terms of goals set than Misty’s. I suppose I’m wondering why it’s so horrible to go back for a day and get teased a little by your stupid, older siblings.

Best: I Choose You!

Ash picks Pikachu for this battle, which is the smartest thing he’s done in this show so far, and does so by picking Pikachu up and attempting to fling him across a swimming pool like a Poké Ball, which is not smart but is damn funny.

Of course, Pikachu doesn’t want to fight his pal, Misty.

  1. Delsaber says:

    Wasn’t expecting that Sons of Anarchy reference, and then you go and follow that up with Daria. Well played. I’ll have to YouTube that I guess since it’s not syndicated any more and the DVD set cut out a lot of the music.

    I’m imagining a lucrative black market of poached Staryu cores. Probably ground up and used as aphrodisiacs.

    How anyone could spend that much time paired with Jessie and still be a homosexual I have no idea. No one’s THAT gay, to steal a line from Archer.

    “No, not the vaguely racist Star Trek: The Next Generation episode. Although that would certainly qualify as a worst on some equivalent blog to this.”

    …oh christ, don’t make me do this…

    • David says:

      Oh, the Daria DVDs are worth it even with the music changes. I guess it’s one of the few times when I can understand why they had to do it.

      Maybe James’ heterometer was overloaded by being around her so much.

      Best and Worst of The Naked Now!

      Best: lol data has a wiener

  2. Rando says:

    re: staryu sequence – it’s so weird what different countries will allow in children’s entertainment, and therein, the lessons kids learn. i guess america opted for heteronormative stereotyping at early ages than diverse love and acceptance :\ not shocking.

  3. David says:

    It’s especially strange when you consider that, overall, Japanese societal views towards homosexuality are not particularly more liberal than in the United States.

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